Permissible But Not Beneficial

"Everything is permissible -but not everything permissible is beneficial."  1 Corinthians 10:23

As I wrote this verse on the refrigerator, Brian, my husband, "humphed".  In our family the "humphed" sound usually means that the Holy Spirit just convicted you about something.  Lately around our home there has been quite a bit of "humphed" sounds...usually by me.  

This verse has really stuck with me.  I am using it to come to a victory place with food.  But as I have been discovering lately it is about so much more than food for me.  One particular topic, my choices in television, has really hit home.  

I have a confession.  I love those crazy reality shows.  I particularly, love the housewives ones.  I am appalled at their behavior but I watch every episode of every single franchise.  Somehow watching someone else act this way fulfills something in me.  I think it is the enjoyment of watching someone act the way I sometimes wish I could act.  You know what I mean.  Someone is really mean to you and you just want to tell them exactly what you think about them but you don't.  On these shows they do...oh boy do they. These shows are permissible ...right?  

For a moment forget about the permissible.  What about the "beneficial" part?  Here is where 1 Corinthians 10:23 speaks to this type of television.  What benefit is it to me?  This week I had to get honest and admit that these shows, and others like it, are in no way beneficial to me.  In fact they are harmful.  They are normalizing this type of behavior to me, to my family, to our society and culture.  In no way are these reality shows the root issues of the problems of our society but they do help to normalize this type of misbehavior.  

Think about it.  If you continue to see violence everyday as part of your day, what does another murder do to your mind.  In all honest, in the beginning it would probably be shocking at first.  But after years of this, another murder on another day wouldn't even phase you.  It is the same thing with unGod-like behavior.  If you continue to see others tearing each other down, calling names, gossiping, carrying out revenge, lying, being disrespectful, and even acting violently towards each other, what does that do to our minds? At first, you watch it and are appalled by it.  But after a while you begin to adopt those attitudes yourself.  At least I did.

I began to gossip about other women.  I began to tear others down and mistreating them.  I began to swear more and call names.  I began to be disrespectful to others.  UGH, I HATE admitting these truths but I can't deny them.  They are truths in my life.  I am ashamed of my behaviors.  I can't blame the television shows.  I chose these actions.  But as the song says, "garbage in-gargabe out."  And that is exactly what was happening to me.  I am now day 5 free of these television shows and regretful of the time I wasted on them in the past.  Thankfully, I serve a God who is forgiving.  Now I just need to feed myself with the goodness that God wants so desperately to fill me with to undo the damage I allowed by watching these television shows.  

How in the heck does this relate to food you are probably wondering.  For me I have discovered in this week that food is the same as bad television.  The more bad food I put into my body, the more bad food I crave.  The more "normal" bad food becomes and the bigger I get.  Remember, "garbage in-garbage out."  I have turned this beautiful, God-created body into a garbage dump.  UGH!  That is another one of those uncomfortable truths.  Now I am challenged to turn it back into the beautiful, God-created body, He meant for it to be.  

I am still trying to figure out how to do that.  I am in prayer.  I don't exactly know what that means for me.  Do I give up all processed sugar or do I never eat another carb?  Do I just count calories and cut nothing?  I really don't know.  What I do know is I need to find out what God wants me to do.  I have decided to take this decision to God in prayer.  I don't want to make another Tory decision in my own will.  I want what God wants for me.  Can I ask that you too pray for me and this decision?